Chapter Six

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, ect., are the property of their respective owners.  The original characters and plot are the property of the author.  The author is no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise.  No copyright infringement is intended.

Warnings: Rated Mature for language, gore and adult situations.  Readers under the age of 18 are discouraged from reading.

Scars of Survival
Chapter Six

Some animals are equal but some are more equal than others.  ~  George Orewell

Having slept like shit the night before, I was all but dragging my sorry carcass out of bed the next morning, feeling sluggish and rightly pissed off.  All night I had laid in bed, thinking; planning of ways to break the news to Daryl about Merle.  It wasn’t really gonna matter anyway, none of us were gonna stop his anger and I still wasn’t sure if I wanted too. 

While I understood more than anyone what Merle was like when he flew off the handle, I still didn’t appreciate anyone leaving my family alone like that.  Merle might always be a dick, but that dick was my future in-law and I really didn’t give a shit what the others thought about Daryl or our family.  If they didn’t like it, tough titty. 

Deciding quickly that I really didn’t want much part of any of the other campers this morning I opted to chop wood instead of helping out with what had quickly been dubbed as the ‘women’s work’.  On any other day I would have happily accompanied Carol and the others to the quarry for laundry duty but after my little rift with Andrea last night I was sure she no more wanted to see me than I wanted to see her.  God, I have to get a better handle on my mouth. 

As the sun continued to rise dispersing the last clouds from last nights rain, I kept chopping and if I kept it up we’d have enough firewood to last us through winter.  But it was calming, it was something to release my pent up frustrations without hurting anyone and it kept me busy so I wouldn’t have to think about the look on Daryl’s face when… someone, most likely me tells him the group left his brother for dead. 

My loud activity must have woke Mr. Responsible himself because a few minutes later he came stumbling out of his tent and stretching like he had the best sleep of his life.  It did not help my present mood, knowing he was partly at fault for my own sleepless night. 

“Morning.”  He greeted, stretching once more as he sent me a smile.  It was strange having so many others smiling at me so often.  I guess I had gotten used to the new me where people were either scared or disgusted and I wasn’t sure how to respond.  Especially since I was still pretty aggravated with him.

But being as I was the newbie around here and the Dixon’s, myself included weren’t bucking for the congeniality award and were already on thin ice, I tried to put my best booted foot forward and not straight up Rick Grimes’ ass.  “Mornin’.”  I replied, a little testily but with the best fake smile I could muster.  It wasn’t as polite as I was shooting for but I wasn’t a complete bitch and that was worth something, right?

His own genuine smile dropped and was replaced by a remorseful frown as his pale blue eyes took me in.  “I’m sorry,”  he repeated and I was starting to wonder if that was all the man could say to me.  The man had been belting out apologies since I met him and he was starting to sound like a broken record.  It kind of made me feel bad. 

For a cop, he wasn’t so bad, not like the other one anyways and he wasn’t the one who had really pissed me off to begin with.  More than anybody it was that fuckin’ blonde witch with the smart-ass mouth and the I’m better than you attitude.  “No,”  I sighed, shaking my head.  “You were just tryin’ to keep the others safe, I understand that and I understand what Merle Dixon is like when he jumps off his rocker.”  I told him sincerely, patting his arm.  “It’s not you I’m really mad at.”

He looked confused and I knew he was just about to open his mouth to defend T-dog when a scream broke the quiet of the camp.  It was a scream of pure terror and it cut through the peaceful silence of the morning like a hot knife through butter. 

Immediately, I dropped my hand from Rick’s arm and gripped my axe a bit tighter as we tore out toward the edge of camp with everyone else.  The sounds of gnashing teeth hit my ears about the same time as the putrid smell of rotting flesh.

Wrinkling my nose in disgust, I tramped down the urge to vomit.  I don’t care how many of those sick bastards I’ve encountered the smell was always surprising and it never got any better.  Those fuckers were rank. 

The group was silent with Rick in the lead as we made our way to the snarling sounds of a walker just beyond the trees.  It was blissfully unaware of our presence and I had to wonder if this one was deaf in life, because that scream should have all but rang the dinner bell.  As it was, the thing was on its knees feasting off the flesh of a nice size doe, halfway through the poor things neck and had its boney emaciated hands digging through the animals entrails.  It took a second to tear my eyes away from the stomach rolling sight but when I did, I gasped.  Feeling all the more nauseated than before.

With my eyes locked onto the bright plastic fletching of a very familiar bolt, I whispered “Daryl…”  my heart filling with dread at what was to come.  This wasn’t gonna be pretty.  He was already gonna be pissed about the deer and that was just gonna be just the start to a very shitty morning.  More than anything right now, I wanted a cigarette and a bottle of booze, anything to take my mind off of breaking my man’s heart.

While the rest of the group stood there gaping like a bunch of fuckin’ idiots, watching the walker that was dressed in what was once a nice business suit, it dawned on me.  We were all standing around watchin’ one of those things eat my ol’man’s deer. Biting the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing at the irony of the situation I settled on a amused snort.  I mean, here we were watching this thing gnawing away at our resources like it was feeding time at the local zoo and not doing a thing to kill it, knowing the thing wouldn’t hesitate to turn on us next.  What was next?  We gonna stand around with a bowl of popcorn and watch it eat the children? 

When the thing finally turned it’s head and growled it seemed to snap Rick and the others to attention and he was the first one to cracked it in the head.  The others followed suit when the swinging started and finally realized we weren’t standing around to take in dinner and a show.

Personally, I stood back.  My axe was ready and Merle’s pistol was loaded and tucked safely in the back of my waistband but I had not intentions of putting myself anywhere near that swinging circle, there were too many people there already and they were all swinging blindly. The last thing this camp needed when Daryl came back was to find me dead ‘cause some stupid prick thought he was Rambo and accidentally took my head off.  That would not end well.

But it looked like Dale already had the decapitations in order around here, I thought to myself with a smile. Hell, I was impressed that he was the one to take care of it.  Out of all the big, strong men it was a crazy old snowbird from Michigan to finally bring it down and with an axe, no less.  You could tell it bothered him, though.  He had gone exceedingly pale in the face but from what I figured this man had more respect than I had for human life, dead or not.  “That’s the first one we’ve had up here,” he panted, obviously struggling to get a hold of himself after the adrenaline wore off.  I knew that feeling, intimately.  “They never come this far up the mountain.”  

“They’re running out of food in the city, that’s what,”  Jim commented, his face twisting up into a grimace as he stared down the rotting corpse. 

Shane went to open his mouth then to no doubt, impart on us some of his worldly wisdom. I rolled my eyes.  “Maybe we should think-”

Rustling in the brush not ten feet from where we all stood snapped us all like rubber bands and reminded us with a good panic attack, that this geek might not have been by himself.  Gripping my axe tighter in my hand, I tuned out everyone breathing and focused on the trees in front of us.  I could hear footfalls but they were steady and moving much to fast to be a walker.  Rick was staring at me out of the corner of his eye, baffled by what I was doing just as Daryl broke through the tree-line, cursing under his breath the whole way. 

Everyone, including myself seemed to breath easier knowing it was just my irritable hunter and not another one of those things but I had news for them, that relief would be short lived.  When he found out about Merle, that walker would be the least of their problems.  These people had seen plenty of Daryl’s cranky side, or so I’d been told, frequently but an irritable Daryl was nothing like a pissed off one. 

Marching straight past the group of wide-eyed campers Daryl headed straight for his mostly desecrated prize. “Som’bitch,” he cursed, taking in the deer’s ruined remains.  “That’s my deer.”  If this had been any other situation I would have snorted at him for laying claim like a caveman to the animal. 

Nudging it lightly with his boot, he whined.  “Look at it, all gnawed on by this piece o’ shit, dieses barin’, motherless, proxy bastard!”  Kicking the body several times in what I understood as Dixon’s way of making himself feel better.  What a child. 

Dale stepped forward, reaching out for Daryl’s arm and the childish part of me wanted to stick my tongue out and sing, “I wouldn’t do that…”  But I held my tongue as Daryl did the lashing for me.

“What do ya know ‘bout it, old man?”  He snarled, puffing out his chest the way he did when he was truly done putting up with something.  Wonderful, I thought to myself, he’s already in a mood. 

Figuring I’d give the old man a break and perhaps get Daryl to calm down a little before all hell broke loose, I stepped forward and grabbed hold of one of his thick arms.  Thankfully he stepped away from the conflicted and turned to kiss my cheek.  “Hey babe, do anythin’ useful whiles I was gone?”  He asked in a quiet whisper and a wink, waggling his brows once and making me laugh. 

“Maybe,”  I returned with my own sultry smirk, which of course made him scowl at me.  Daryl was on a thin rope as it was since we hadn’t had sex in nearly three months and I wouldn’t dare do this to him while we were alone, already knowing what would happen. He’d have my ass pinned to tree and my clothes gone so fast my head would spin.  It was like toying with an aggressive fighting dog with stick, sooner or later you’d get bit. But I figured he was gonna be pissed as hell in a minute anyway, so why not?  Plus, I kind of liked biting. 

His eyes stayed pinned to mine for another second, telling me without words that I was in trouble later, before bending down to remove his bolts.  “I’ve been trackin’ this deer for miles, was gonna drag it back to camp, cook us up sum venison,”  he said with a truly distasteful sneer.  “What d’ya think?  Think we could cut ‘round this chewed up part?” 

My nose curled up but it was Shane that beet me to the punch with words.  “Couldn’t risk it.”  Which was followed up with a bunch of vigorously nodding heads and I had to agree. That was just nasty. 

“Damn shame,”  he murmured, eyeing his ruined trophy with longing, making me smile, he just looked so damn cute when he pouted. 

He perked up shortly after.  “Got us some squirrel, ‘bout uh dozen or so, it’ll have’ta do.”  He said adjusting the critter baring twine on his shoulder and I sighed.  Leave it to Daryl to be happy about eating squirrel. 

Snapping at my feet drew my attention from Daryl’s face and back to the walker, or should I say the walker’s dismembered head as it tried to make a meal out of the steel-toe of my boot.  I growled and jumped back, my axe above my head and ready to swing but the ’shink’ of Daryl’s crossbow beat me too it.

“Come on people, wh’ the hell?”  He said bending down once more to remove his bolt, causing my stomach to roll at the squishing noise it made.  “It’s gotta be th’ brain.  Don’t ya’ll know nothin’?” 

All eyes turned to me as Daryl grabbed my hand and started towards camp, shouting for Merle to get his lazy ass up.  My tears started to fall immediately. 

Yanking on his hand firmly, I drew his attention to my face.  “Daryl.”

His eyes immediately zeroed in my tears and he asked.  “What’s a matter?” 

I shook my head and his face grew more tense.  “I-I need to talk to you.”  I told him, choking on my own words even as I said them.  I noticed out of the corner of my eye that we now had the attention of the entire camp and I wanted to tell them all to go the fuck away.  All these people standing around when Daryl lost his temper was not going to help anything.

“Babe?”  he questioned, one brow already cocked into his hairline. His eyes were pleading with me to tell him how fix what was wrong with me. 

“There was a problem in Atlanta,”  I blurted before I lost my nerve.  “Merle, he’s not here.” 

Tears were already welling in his eyes along with the building confusion and rage.  He was gonna blow.  “He dead?”  He asked with a terse jut of his chin.

I caught sight of T-dog, making his way into camp, his arms full of firewood that was probably intended for me.  I looked to him pleadingly, begging him to help me explain this.  It was my fault really, I shouldn’t have lost my head last night and stayed to listen to the full explanation, but I didn’t and I really didn’t know what to tell him now.  “I don’t know?”  I whispered.

Daryl’s eyes cut from mine and over to T-dog, Rick and Shane who were all standing about looking more guilty than a human being ever should.  His eyes narrowed as he licked his bottom lip and I could almost see the cogs turning in his mind as he connected the dots.  Then I saw the certainty there, when it all dawned on him.  He looked straight into my eyes with a lifted brow, before cutting his eyes over to the group and then back to me.  It was a silent question and one I wasn’t going to deny him the truth of. 

I nodded.

To any of the group standing around, it would seem that Daryl was taking the news rather well, but I knew better.  I could see the splotches of red that broke out across his neck and cheeks along with the sweat, a warning sigh if you will, that either of the Dixon boys were about to lose their tempers.  But Daryl wasn’t just about to lose his temper.  Oh no.  Daryl was fixin’ to lose his shit in a way that even scared the hell out of me. 

“He either is or he ain’t,”  Daryl spat over my head, directing it loud enough that I knew the cowardly men at my back could hear him. He was, after all, speaking to them now. 

Glancing back at Shane, Rick and the small Mexican man, who’s name I still can’t pronounce correctly stood, I noticed them watching us with wide eyes, waiting for Daryl to erupt. Well, except for Shane, but he always looked like a smug asshole.

Renewing my faith a little, Rick finally stepped forward and took some of the responsibility on himself.  “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just say it.” 

Seeing the newcomer, Daryl gripped my arm hard and pulled me behind him. Not a good sign.  Not a good sign at all.  I chanted. 

“Who’re you?” He spat, pushing me further from his back, out of the way should someone pull a suckers move.  Which, I wasn’t particularly worried about unless it was Shane doing the shoving.  Ever since I hit him, he’s seemed to hold it against me, even after I apologized.  With Daryl in the mood he was, I just bit my tongue and hung back.  Waiting.

“Rick Grimes,”  he offered, rather politely for a man who was about to get his head caved in. 

Daryl scoffed and shook his head. “Rick Grimes?”  he mocked, approaching him like an angry bear.  “You got somethin’ ya wanna tell me?” 

I caught Rick’s eyes just before he opened his mouth and I shook my head, silently begged him not to say what we discussed last night over dinner.  “Your brother was a danger to us all,”  he started, taking a step forward.  I face-palmed immediately and let out a small groan. This was not going to go down well.  “So I handcuffed him to a roof, hooked on a piece of metal.  He’s still there.” 

My head snapped up looking at Rick with confusion, this was all news to me.  I was under the vague impression the Merle was well on his way to being eaten when they booked it out of town. 

At the same time Daryl was wiping the sweat from his brow.  “Hold on,”  he snapped, turning away to look at me like ‘is this guy for real’.  “Let me process this.  Ya sayin’ ya handcuffed my brother to a roof? And you left him there!” 

His voice was raising right along with his blood pressure, I was sure.  His face had gone from blotchy to completely beet red in his anger and I knew this little pow wow was about to escalate into more than words.  My eyes were trained on Daryl’s back, waiting for him to pounce, I could feel it coming.  Everything about him at the moment screamed it. From the way his hands were coiled into fists or the way his back muscles were so tight I was afraid he might hurt himself. 

Rick sighed and for the first time since meeting the man, I held a respect for him.  I knew the man wasn’t stupid and I knew that he knew what was coming, men like Daryl weren’t raised pussies and it showed in every move he made.  “Yeah.”  He finally agreed.

It was a showdown from that point on.  Rick glanced at Shane, while Shane was alternating looking at me and T-dog and Daryl was glaring at everybody but me.

When the twine of squirrels came off his shoulders I knew it was over.  He lunched for Rick but Shane reacted first, tackling him to the ground.  T-dog went to help Shane the same time I saw the glint of Daryl’s knife.  “Daryl!”  I yelled, coming forward myself now that I saw things were getting serious. 

Shane was still struggling with Daryl when he saw the knife himself.  “Watch the knife!”  He told Rick.  It was a blur of arms and legs as it took the three of them to get Daryl under control but it was Shane finally getting Daryl in a chokehold that stopped the brawl.

Daryl struggled against Shane’s tightening grip.  “Best let me go!”  He roared. 

For anyone that hadn’t known Daryl as well as myself or Merle wouldn’t have caught the panic in his eyes.  No one would know that Daryl’s daddy nearly killed him once by doing just what Shane was doing to him now.  But I did know it and I didn’t like it.

“Naw,”  Shane grunted, an almost amused smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.  “I don’t think I will.”  Daryl was becoming more and more frantic and I was panicking where I stood. 

Faster than I considered the consequences of my actions, Merle’s 9mm was out of my side holster and pointed at Shane’s head.  “Let ‘em up, Walsh!” 

“What are you doing? Put that away!”  One of the woman, Rick’s wife I think demanded. 

Smirking at her words I parroted Shane’s earlier statement.  “Naw, I don’t think I will.” 

“We can talk about this.”  Rick said quietly, ever the negotiator.  “Please put the gun down.” 

I shook my head.  “Let ’em up. I didn’t walk my happy ass all over the state of Georgia to get cut up and nearly raped by some wacko freaks just so you could strangle the only family I have left, just after I found him.” 

Rick nodded to Shane.  “Let him up.” 

Daryl wheezed for several minutes after Shane let him go and as promised I immediately secured my gun and rushed to Daryl’s side.  But I did look back at Rick.  “I’ll explain later.”  I told him quietly, hoping he’d understand.  After all, I didn’t want him to think I was psychotic.  I wasn’t and contrary to popular belief, neither was Daryl.  

He looked at me curiously for a second before some sort of epiphany came over him and he nodded with a slight smile. 

“It’s not Rick’s fault,”  T-dog said, finally stepping up.  “I had the key.  I dropped it.” 

Daryl who was still on his knees gasping for air looked to him with disbelief.  “Ya couldn’t pick it up?” 

“I dropped it down a drain.”  He said remorsefully. 

Daryl looked from me to him before he turned on his heel and let out a choked up sob while reaching back for my hand.  When I reached out to him he squeezed it tight and stood up, pulling me under his arm almost instantly and turning his back on the group.  “If that’s supposed to make me feel better, it don’t.” 

T-dog stepped forward quickly and added.  “I chained the door to the roof so the geek’s couldn’t get at him.  With a padlock.” 

Rick seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, tacked on.  “That’s got to count for something.”  

Daryl just shook his head, tears starting to leek from the corners of his eyes and it pissed me off.  I had seen Daryl cry more in the last three days than I ever saw in the whole eight years that I’ve known him.  With his free hand, he rubbed at his eyes.  “To hell with all o’ ya’ll!”  he wailed.  “Jus’ tell me where he is so I can go get ’em.”   

Surprisingly, it was Lori, or Rick’s wife who stepped forward.  “He’ll show you.” 

Completely overcome by shock, I stood their gaping at her like she was the virgin Mary.  I could give a shit less that she was only saying it to save her husband’s ass, whatever her reason might have been, I wasn’t so stupid not to see the spark in her husbands eyes.  The thought of being his do-gooder self had lit a fire under his ass. Like I said, I really didn’t care why, just that they would be going.

As this was proclaimed by the queen bee herself the rest of the group wore matching expressions; confusion and distaste.  Not one of them thought it was worth it to risk more men or firepower to go after the likes of Merle Dixon, and every one of them could kiss my white, hillbilly ass.